Issue #40: Reclaiming 'loserdom'

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to listen 
The Dangerous Memories podcast comes from the same creators as Sweet Bobby, and my gosh, it spins a yarn. A group of privileged teenage girls, who are all seeing the same psychotherapist, start behaving very strangely. They distance themselves from their families, believing that they were abused by their parents when they were little, and that their parents are a part of a secret paedophile ring. It is almost too wild to be true, but this lady actually implanted false memories into her patients’ minds, and the repercussions are horrendous.

to wear
I honestly despise wearing structured clothing. I don’t want anything cutting into my tender belly. If I could live in athleisurewear, I would, and I totally can in today’s society, so maybe I will. Oysho have really come into their own of late. I used to think of Oysho as an okay store for loungewear, but it’s morphed into a budget Lululemon. I came out with the cutest green short jumpsuit (a playsuit) plus a floaty white linen shirt, 50% off. It’s got airport outfit written all over it. 

to make
This unreal vegan peanut butter mousse with chocolate ganache. Georgina Burgess is a recent insta discovery and ohmygod I want to make everything she creates. This mousse uses silken tofu - a fun ingredient. High in protein, plant based, and silky smooth!

I’ve read some thought-provoking, controversial pieces lately around the rise of embracing loserdom. It seems like more and more people, young and old, are happy to admit they’d prefer to stay in bed and watch Netflix, than be out and about in the real world. Has this kind of hermit behaviour become more popular? Or is it just being talked about more? My first thoughts around this are, where has this information come from? In today’s world, he who speaks the loudest gets heard. If lots of people are saying something on the internet, that doesn’t mean that a lot of people are saying something. It means that a lot of people who spend a lot of time on the internet, are saying something. Maybe there have always been lots of people who prefer the great indoors, and only now has the internet given them a platform to vocalise it.

The Mainstreaming of Loserdom

I’ve heard people say that the pandemic is to blame for this great ‘de-socialising’ of young people. Understandably, it was a huge concern at the time. What are two years of isolation going to do to children and teens in their formative years, when they should be around their peers? Apparently now, less and less young people want to go out and party, and the act of ‘clubbing’ might be over. Though, I had the pleasure of working with a lot of young adolescents pre-pandemic (the joys of cheffing for catering companies - 90% of the wait staff are aged 16-18) and being sensible was massively on trend then. I’d chat to them while I was plating smoked salmon starters, marvelling at their pride in not drinking. Apparently though, sex is at an all time low, and young people don’t know how to converse. (Okay, if that’s true, that’s definitely bad). But the young people I’ve met seem pretty switched on, and pretty clued in to who they are, what they like, and how they want to spend their time. Trends come and go, and fads wax and wane. If young people are doing things differently to how we did them, is that necessarily a bad thing?

I was discussing all of these hot topics with my thirty-something friends the other day, who all have good, solid, normal jobs. They said that their rite of passage into the workplace generally sucked. They were the first to arrive, and the last to leave. They put in the hours and grafted. It made them who they are today, and got them where they needed to be in their careers. Now, their younger, newer counterparts seem to be cut from a completely different cloth. They categorically won’t put in any more hours than what’s asked of them, regularly cite work/life balance as their priority, and actively push for the right to work from home, from day dot. Who’s right, and who’s wrong? 

There’s an element of the hierarchical, ‘I’ve been through this, so you should too’. E.g. just because you were bullied at boarding school, doesn’t mean you should bully the innocent newbies in exactly the same way. Progress is progress, and just because the social collective has only just realised the importance of a work/life balance, doesn’t mean that nascent entry workers have to go through the same shit before they deserve the perks. Or does it?

One large part of the conversation was that my friends’ long, trying hours at work in their 20s were actually their most joyous. Pressure makes diamonds, and their memories of hard fought projects, epic successes and dramatic failures were their most colourful and memorable. They wouldn’t trade anything for the social life that came from the chaos of work. If newcomers are fixated on leaving at five on the dot, are they missing out on something vital? Real life camaraderie?

I want to speak in semi defence of the introverts, who don’t thrive in ‘the typical workplace’. This is terrible to say, but a huge draw of becoming a chef was that I didn’t have to talk to people all day, or participate in meetings, or give PowerPoint presentations. My experiences in ‘serious workplaces’ scared the living daylights out of me. I felt like a fraud, a fish out of water, being serious about serious things.

Though the galley was my ultimate #safespace, yachting was a very strange workplace to come of age in. Did it socialise me to be able to deal with people from all walks of life? Kind of yes, but kind of not. I believe I can find common ground with most people, but I also know that I’m highly intolerant, and don’t subscribe to the old adage, ‘if you can’t beat them, join them’. I would much rather be on my own than with (people who I think are) numpties.

If more young people nowadays don’t feel pressured to do things they don’t want to do, then I say, more power to them. Embracing loserdom eliminates the element of having to ‘keep up’, and let’s people do what makes them happy. If they don’t want to dance to Mr. Brightside for the 250th time in a club with sticky floors, can you really blame them?

What do you think of the current state of young peeps, and their socialisability? Do you think we’re going to see a generation of people who are too anxious to work? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below.